Not everyone is comfortable answering relationship topics publicly. Our subscribers still have a voice that would like to be heard.
One subscriber I sent relationship questions to sent them back and asked if they could be shared anonymously. Here was their responses.
1. What advice would you give your younger self about dating?
As a child I remember being told don’t be in a hurry to grow up and I remember thinking, you don’t know shit because I know it all. Now as an adult with bills and responsibilities, I think to myself if I could go back to that time with my current knowledge, I would take those naps and enjoy playing.
Right now I would tell my younger self slow down and enjoy your youth. The option of being single isn’t a death sentence it’s an opportunity to grow and learn. Do not be in a hurry to jump into any relationship unless it feels good. Also if it doesn’t feel good run away as fast as you can.
2. What makes you feel appreciated in a relationship?
Appreciation all comes down to your love language. Some people may think it’s buying gifts but its quite the opposite.
The most times I feel appreciated is when it’s the little things. Listening when I had a bad day, remembering I’m allergic to kiwis, or just bringing me M&M’s because you remembered they’re my favorite.
If we can sit down at a dinner table and have a full conversation without an argument or disagreement I feel you are fucking me intellectually and that is my love language.
3. What’s one thing your significant other can do to make you feel more confident about the future?
A wise woman once told me when you make a plan the Universe (God) will laugh not because you don’t know what you’re doing, but mainly due to the fact that life throws curves at you.
For instance, I believed that by the age of 30 I would have the house, the marriage, and would be ready to start having kids. Nope, wrong as hell.
The truth is I had the house, car , a boyfriend but there were things that were wrong. I’m going to tell ya’ll I wasn’t ready. My relationship wasn’t there yet, and that’s ok.
It takes soul searching, you have to know what you as a person, sound body and mind can deal with and if your life isn’t matching your goals the foundation isn’t solid.
Unfortunately it took me turning everything upside down to figure out what part of the puzzle didn’t quite fit. Selfishly, I had to put myself first to tell my other half what I needed to be happy and once I was willing and able things stated to get better before they got worse.
Being honest with everyone in my life caused me to loose people on this journey, but unapologetically I started to notice, there is nothing wrong with saying no. The best way I made my partner feel secure is to have goals of my own and set a plan and set goals together. Which really showed I’m putting in the work for us, and along the way we both worked together to overcome the obstacles we are faced with daily.
4. If you had to change one thing about your relationship, what would it be?
This can be a trick question if one believes in fairytale endings.
Honestly, when changing things there’s a chain reaction. You can be happy with everything except he likes to eat chips in the bed before y’all fall asleep. Even though all night long you are pulling pringles crumbs out your booty, and you complain asking for it to stop, it there. It happens.
Now, he eats those same pringles on the couch watching tv and you’re in the bed alone waiting on him to come to bed. I know this is a little far fetched but think about it, would you rather spend what could’ve been quality time alone or just roll with it?
For every cause there has to be an effect. Compromise is important, have any of you ever told someone to do/or change something but it’s not quite right? That’s because you as an individual cannot control everything.
My advice is to ride this rollercoaster called life and as long as you’re happy with what you have leave it alone and appreciate what you have. Everything and everyone that come in your life whether it’s a reason, season or life time has its purpose so sit back to find out what that is.
5. What does your significant other do that turns you on?
If he walks past me naked, after getting out of the shower smelling good, looking good, and being oblivious to the fact that he has just crossed the path of a hungry predator that is going to take advantage of the fact that I don’t have to fight with stripping his clothes off. At this point all I have to do is lure him to the bed with, come here I need help with something…