So, I’m old.
Someone is going to say “you’re on 33, you’re in your prime”. I always reply with a simple but blunt,
But dating has changed since I was ripe and a virgin trying to bust a nut for the first time in 2004.
Fuck you for trying to do the math. Just kidding. (Editors note: He really meant what he said.) But seriously, things have changed since then and I’m sure I have all the answers.
But I really don’t. I’m just a soul wander about this thing confused, just like a lot of us. Some of us got it on the first try and I ain’t even mad at that. I’m type happy for you. But then it’s the rest of us that’s on our sixteen and thirtieth tries and still don’t see the light at the end of the tunnel.
So sometimes, I don’t know about you, but sometimes I tend to ask is it me? But I’m fucking dope so of course it’s not me. At least that’s what I tell myself. But maybe it, just maybe it is.
I know it’s not that I’m heartbroken over someone cause honestly, sorry if you’re reading this, but most of my old things was just in house sex until they realized they could have something better. I ain’t even mad, around six months I get kinda tired of the whole idea that I can’t do what I want and I’m ready to bail.
So I don’t even be mad, I be hurt for a little bit then I was back on the prowl looking for the next PYT to get this ‘big ole meat.’ (Editor’s Note: I use to rap, I know that was a bar.) Was it right? I don’t know, did I care? Nope. Cold world. Bundle up.
Nowadays, that’s basically everyone. Instead, people don’t even get into relationships. Everyone’s DTF. People are okay with having no strings attached sex and disappearing and ghosting people with no issue.
It’s like you can’t gauge someone’s interest levels. Either they say they just want sex or they want a relationship but only after the see if the sex is up to par. I’m not even mad at that. But it’s confusing.
As a man looking to possibly settle down, I find myself meeting women who aren’t ready for a relationship or just came out of something. Then it’s the ones who say they aren’t going to try anymore. The women are attractive and have great personalities, but commiting is something they aren’t looking to do.
Which makes me wonder am I fucking up? Like am I seriously looking for something that’s not available. My past has me looking for a life where I am in a family situation but my present makes me think that I should be “having fun.”
Plus, I was talking to someone, (Editors Note: mind your business) and she said that I should go enjoy my life for a bit. She would always be there. I’m considering taking her advice. Maybe I need a ‘City Boyz Summer’ in order to know what I really want.
But I also kinda know what I do want. That’s something real, whether it’s a relationship or a friendship. Don’t portray something that’s not really there, though. I’m a victim of assuming sometimes, but it’s only because I was following a road I was led down.
But maybe, dating will get easier. Maybe I just need to get more money and then I’ll be able to attract the women that I think would be nice to date. Maybe, I just need to get a golden retriever and settle down in a country town with only one gas station. Never going to happen.
Just like you’re never going to read this. But it’s okay, it’s an opinion. We all have them. As well as assholes. Sorry if this post made me look like an asshole.