I’ve struggled through life more times than I can say I was actually up in it. I guess since I’m surviving and staying afloat is the best way to put it. Or maybe breaking even could even be a better term to use. Regardless how you spin it, I basically got by with what I could.
Growing up in New York City made it harder with it’s extremely high prices. So most days a sacrifice had to be made in order to keep the holes out of the boat. Most times it was food. Other times it was clothes but a sacrifice had to be made nonetheless.
Those sacrifices were teaching experiences. Maybe not the best lessons taught, but it helped me when things got much more rough as I got older. When I mean by more rough, I unfortunately have been a victim of homelessness one or twice in my life. And at the moment, food was more of a luxury than anything else.
Most days, a bagel or butter roll would be the meal of the day. And I’m sure you had to look back and ask yourself ‘did he say meal of the day?’ Yeah, sometimes, all I had was a dollar to my name, and asking for handouts wasn’t part of DNA.
Sure people gonna say, how I survive being poor but I’m not sure people don’t understand how hard it was to come up. I’ve been chasing the same musical dream forever but due to my living conditions I’ve even sacrificed that due to survival.
But it doesn’t come without it’s consequences. I taught myself how to survive with the minimum. Making whatever I could from the temp agency and making it stretch as far as possible. The days I couldn’t find work were harder than others but I survived to tell you about it so I feel like I never let it beat me.
But those consequences I was referring to, I know have the stomach that gets full on 4 spoons of anything. My favorite food, hamburgers, I can barely finish one. I began to eat in sections. Make a plate last a whole day, not on purpose, but just cause I didn’t gain an appetite.
I had to learn to ignore my hunger pains. But now as I’m older, it’s starting to take a toll on me physically. Most people that have it, eat what, 3 square meals a day. Sometimes that’s my week, and I just manage however I could. A sandwich here and a sandwich there. Some cereal whenever I could. But I know now I gotta do better.
That’s if I want to see the fruits of my labor of all the hardwork I’ve been putting in over the last year. I know I’m going to be great, but I know I have to start taking care of myself. Which means eating more often and on a schedule as well as sleeping more often. It’s just when you’re trying build something by yourself, it’s hard to take a break when you’re stacking all the bricks by yourself.
And it makes me think, do I actually need help navigating through life’s obstacles? I’ve never really had parents or a strong family or support group. But having those few friends that send me a text reminding me to eat, means the world to me.
But idk, I felt inclined to share this with you all, maybe someone is going through the same situation. Maybe they feel all hope is lost. But it isn’t, at least that’s what I saw. But I have made a vow to myself and began building a schedule and setting alarms to make sure I’m reminded to do the bare necessities. It’s the only way I can enjoy the life I envision for myself and others around me.